Sunday, September 16, 2012
Stalk Me by Jillian Dodd
Title: Stalk Me
Author: Jillian Dodd
Gossip girl meets Hollywood in this new series by That Boy author, Jillian Dodd.
Keatyn has everything she ever dreamed of. Her life is following the script she wrote for the perfect high school experience. She’s popular, goes to the best parties, dates the hottest guy, and sits at the most coveted lunch table.
She’s just not sure she wants it anymore.
Because really, things aren’t all that perfect.
Her best friend is threatening to tell everyone her perfect relationship is a scam.
Her perfect boyfriend gets drunk at every party they go to.
It’s exhausting always trying to look and act perfect.
And deep down, she isn’t sure if she has any true friends.
To add to the drama, her movie star mom’s long-time fan has turned stalker.
An older man is flirting with her and telling her they should make a movie together.
And she’s crushing on an adorable surfer. Dating a guy like him would mean committing social suicide.
So she writes a new script. One where all the pieces of her life will come together in perfect harmony.
But little does she know, there’s someone who will do anything to make sure that doesn’t happen.
Stalk Me on Goodreads
Stalk Me on Amazon
Jillian Dodd's Website
I liked Jillian Dodd's book "That Boy" quite a bit. While I wasn't super pleased with the ending, I thought overall the writing was decent and the characters were likable.
I read the blurb for this book and thought that it sounded awesome. The book was supposed to be about popular girl Keatyn who has been living a sham life because she thought it was what she wanted (perfect friends, perfect boyfriend, etc), but it's all imploding around her and she starts to realize that the perfect life she thought she wanted might not be the best thing after all.
Yeah, that blurb is almost a complete fabrication. Well, I mean, it's kind of true for the first 15-20% of the book, but then the story changes drastically and none of that matters anymore.
Considering that I enjoyed That Boy, I figured I would like this one as well.
And I did!
For about 70-75% of the book.
Then the book died for me. It completely tanked. I struggled so hard to read the last quarter of this book because I was so pissed off at what happened and where Dodd was taking this story. I've since learned that she plans to make this a 6-book series and that disappoints me even more. For reasons I'll get in to later in this review, I'm possibly going to check out the sequels... but definitely not at $9.99 each for the ebooks. I was VERY happy I only paid $2.99 for this one.
There are some spoilers after this point, so BEWARE!
Stalk me starts off with Keatyn and her boyfriend Sander partying it up with her best friends Vanessa and RiAnne. And Cush, but I'll get in to him later. Sander keeps getting drunk at the parties all the time and won't have sex with her even though they've been dating a year. Vanessa is a really terrible friend and basically blackmails Keatyn into doing whatever she wants. RiAnne is basically Vanessa's lap dog.
Keatyn also apparently loves to surf and wakes up early to meet with her surfer friends, Damian and Brooklyn. She has a crush on Brooklyn and she doesn't know if it's requited. Even though Vanessa tells her not to, she breaks up with Sander. The breakup was actually well done and I really liked Sander. Unfortunately Sander disappears from the book after the breakup, despite Keatyn telling us he's her BFF and they have probably the most amicable breakup in history.
So Keatyn is single and starts hitting on Brooklyn. They make out one night and Keatyn thinks she's in love. Brooklyn doesn't call her for a few days and she gets all upset thinking she was just a hookup. After a few days he calls her and invites her to go away for the weekend with him and some friends to surf. She's all excited until he texts her and tells her he left early without her. She's emo about this and goes to a party with Cush.
Cush might be the absolute best character in this entire book. Cush is the cute, arrogant, adorable player who never dates, just has hookups, and has sexy dimples. He also is very good friends with Keatyn. They've been great friends for awhile - he goes dancing with her when her other friends wouldn't, she goes to awkward family functions with him as moral support, etc.
So, Keatyn is all upset that Brooklyn went off without her and she thinks he's a big player now. They get into a text fight where he tells her to grow up. That night she and Cush go to the party and end up kissing. She likes it a lot and Cush admits to her that he's been in love with her for awhile which is why he doesn't date girls. So Keatyn gives up her virginity and they start dating.
Every scene with Cush makes me feel like this:
Cush is freaking awesome. They have an amazing time together until Keatyn is about to go on vacation and her BFF Vanessa sends her a cryptic text. Keatyn knows Vanessa is setting something up, so she stops by a party and finds another girl (Mandy) giving head to Cush. She's pissed off until she realizes Cush has been drugged. So Keatyn's best friend Vanessa sets this all up because she's a crazy stalker bitch. Keatyn takes Cush to a doctor and his parents find out and freak. For some really strange reason that I don't understand, except that the author needed to create a rift between them despite it not making any sense at all, Cush blames Keatyn for what happened and they break up. Don't ask, I don't understand why either.
So Keatyn leaves and ends up somehow starting up with Brooklyn again. They spend the summer having sex all over Europe and surfing. But Keatyn loves to dress up and go to clubs and dance, but Brooklyn hates it. He only likes her when she's playing beach bum without makeup. They argue about it and break up at her 17th birthday party.
At the same party, Cush and Keatyn make up and she tells him she loves him. Keatyn has realized that Cush loves all of her, not just pieces, and she wants to be with him. And from what I've seen so far, SHE IS RIGHT. They dance and make out and then Keatyn decides to go hang out with Brooklyn some more (WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU GIRL????).
This is where the book completely goes fucking nuts and starts sucking huge donkey balls.
While all this stuff is going on, Keatyn's mom (who is a famous actress) has been getting scary stalker letters. At Keatyn's 17th bday party, while she's hanging with Brooklyn, the stalker shows up and tries to abduct Keatyn. She gets away, but suddenly everything has to change.
Keatyn's mom decides Keatyn has to be sent to boarding school to be safe. She has to cut off all contact with all friends (except Brooklyn for some weird reason) and can't tell any of them that she's ok. Keatyn goes along with this after putting up very minimal resistance. She is vaguely upset about not seeing Cush anymore, but he's barely mentioned for the rest of the book. She professed her love for the guy and now she has to cut off all contact. He has no idea where she is. He has no idea why she refuses to talk to him. It's completely fucked up.
But Keatyn does't seem that upset. She gets emancipated from her parents and they open bank accounts for her because that way the stalker can't track her! She also changes her name to Keatyn Monroe, because that will hide her true identity! Her mom is a famous actress who is in a relationship with a famous actor. No matter what, Keatyn would occasionally be photographed by paparazzi. Her face is going to be known, especially by celebrity hounds who love to read entertainment magazines and blogs. She is also supposedly a dead ringer for her mother. But ... she will go to a boarding school full of rich people where no one will recognize her because it's important to the plot even though it MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE.
Oh, let's not forget that after professing her love to Cush, she fucks Brooklyn one last time before leaving for boarding school. Just because. It makes no sense why she can hang out with Brooklyn but not Cush, especially because the stalker knows Brooklyn, but whatever!
Keatyn goes to boarding school, meets and starts making out with three different guys (Dallas, Riley, Aiden).
On her first night at boarding school she and Dallas get high and make out.
Second night, she purposely lets Riley into her room while she's wearing lingerie and a skimpy robe.
That same night, she holds hands with Aiden and this happens:
It takes everything I have to let go of his hand when I shake it.
My hand belongs in his.
Don't laugh. I'm serious.
It belongs in his forever
She has been at school all of TWO DAYS and like a week prior had confessed her love to Cush. Now she has completely forgotten about him and literally has so much chemistry with Aiden that she thinks her hand belongs in his FOREVER.
She also ends up on a ferris wheel with Aiden. And of course, when it's at the top, they kiss. It looks like this:
A slow, perfect, time-stood-still, fireworks-in-my-eyes kind of kiss.
And it was just a little kiss. No open mouths, no tongues; just a kiss.
A little teeny kiss.
I'm in love with him.
Yep, she was in love with Cush last week (and CUSH IS FUCKING AWESOME) and now she's in love with Aiden. Let's not forget that a week and a half ago she was in love with Brooklyn.
The last lines of the book are:
All I have to say is: boarding school is no day at the beach.
It's way more exciting.
And to that, I say this:
You create this fucking awesome character in Cush. His dialogue is awesome. His back story is awesome (what we get of it). EVERYTHING is fucking awesome about him.
You create this crazy dynamic between Keatyn and her "friends" at school, then fuck it all up by sending her to boarding school where we are now cut off completely from all the other characters you spend a few hundred pages getting us connected with and start us completely over in some shit boring boarding school with characters who are all cardboard cutouts of each other?
Am I supposed to give a fuck about Aiden or Dallas or Riley? I've known these characters for all of 30 seconds before Keatyn is forming these relationships with them that I don't give a fuck about because I WANT CUSH. Hell, I'll take Brooklyn, or Sander, or Vanessa. But giving me a fuck ton of new characters who all have the exact same personalities and making Keatyn get all in to them is basically a big FUCK YOU to the entire previous 80% of this book.
I originally rated this 2-stars, but after writing this I'm so pissed off at this story that I've had to drop it to 1-star.
Two things I also want to mention:
* Stalker plot is more like a minor sub-plot. However, that minor subplot fucked this entire story up by forcing the whole boarding school thing.
* This book suffers HUGELY from absent parent syndrome. Keatyn has no curfew and no rules. She regularly stays out entire nights. Her mom also encourages her to have sex and is super excited when Keatyn loses her virginity.
The ONLY reason that I would consider reading further into this series is if I read spoilers and find out Cush makes a comeback. Not that Keatyn deserves him, since she basically wants to run around fucking and kissing everyone, but he's the only character that makes this series redeemable. If book 2 is an Aiden/Keatyn love story I will pass. NOT INTERESTED.
1 of 5 stars
Link to Kala's review on Goodreads: